they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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