I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk is a universal language darling
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
