Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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