But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
