Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
