I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize