apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize