I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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