Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
