I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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