we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm