If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We're too hungover to prance.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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