We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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