Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Terrible idea I love it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
