So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize