that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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