brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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