i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
