I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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