you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
