Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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