You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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