i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
