you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My life is pants optional.
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