i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize