wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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