the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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