Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
