I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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