the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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