I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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