so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
