Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
