if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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