Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My penis needs a shock collar
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
