can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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