Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize