Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize