dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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