there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
