I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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