Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Randomize
