Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
