I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
