Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
time to smoke my breakfast
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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