Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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