I wanna bring you to show and tell
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
