going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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