so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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