Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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