Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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