Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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