I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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