I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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