but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.