Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.

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  (267): i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing. (215): the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?. http://tfl.nu/zmpd
  Replies (23) Good night (552) Bad night (2173)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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  (407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr." http://tfl.nu/64va
  Replies (14) Good night (825) Bad night (2624) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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  (574): So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap. (574): Side Note: My mute button doesn't work. http://tfl.nu/2spl
  Replies (10) Good night (593) Bad night (3593)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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  (218): I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted. http://tfl.nu/x30k
  Replies (12) Good night (3761) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him

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  (845): I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him http://tfl.nu/y1pg
  Replies (7) Good night (990) Bad night (2761) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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  (214): You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle. http://tfl.nu/y634
  Replies (14) Good night (4159) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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  (501): there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside http://tfl.nu/1bna
  Replies (85) Good night (6964) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

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  (402): she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics (1-402): you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys. http://tfl.nu/veft
  Replies (18) Good night (8443) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1108) Bad night (3662) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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  (812): You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party http://tfl.nu/gmt6
  Replies (10) Good night (5777) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.

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  (714): You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world. http://tfl.nu/6m84
  Replies (15) Good night (3526) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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  (218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (1411) Bad night (573)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (1285) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?

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  (541): theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch? http://tfl.nu/3hhq
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (1762) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.

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  (414): I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest. http://tfl.nu/z09j
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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