just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Success! We fucked roommates!