Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.