I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
