its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
