So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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