dude i'm inner monologue high
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
